it would take me weeks to find my way around it.
You really want to build an XMPP server from scratch? I appreciate the idea and I donāt want to get you demotivated, but I estimate it will take you months and I think itās a lot harder than you might think.
Itās not only about sending messages from A to B and āsomething to route themā.
You need to understand the concepts around java.nio (working with ServerSocketChannel or AsynchronousServerSocketChannel) which isnāt trivial (donāt use ServerSocket!).
Then you need to understand TLS and Javaās SSLEngine, which isnāt trivial either.(You can also use a NIO framework, but I donāt know if itās easier, because you would have to learn the framework as well).
Then you have to understand SASL (javax.security.sasl) to implement authentication.
If you are familiar with all those things, itās very valuable knowledge, but most developers arenāt.
Then you have to read and re-read and re-read the XMPP specifications to get things right and implement all of the mandatory core features, which are required before sending the first message (Connection management, TLS negotitation, SASL authentication, Resource Binding, Stream features, error handling, routing, etc.).
These are really only the basic requirements for a minimal XMPP serverā¦ as you can see, a lot to understand and a lot to implement.
And donāt use Tinder, it wonāt help you much for the tasks above and even when youāre done with them, I wouldnāt recommend it.